STOP...how to make room for happy

There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty to be happy.

By being happy we sow anonymous benefits on the world.

Robert Louis Stevenson

I don't usually do this - and to tell the truth - Blogger doesn't let you easily reblog someone else's post like WordPress does. But I thought this post was so important that I should pass it along with only a very little commentary (and not to bore you, but I do have another prose/poem to go with this topic!)

I've made the point before and will again in the poem below, that we choose who and how we'll "be" in the world. We can choose love or indifference, hope versus despair, optimism versus pessimism and happiness versus discontent or sadness. We can alter our stance toward life and others by our conscious desire and thoughts to do so. But...while I absolutely agree that we can change ourselves when we cannot necessarily change others or change the circumstances in which we find ourselves, there are, nonetheless, certain things we absolutely have to stop letting other people do to us if we are to even have a chance to choose happiness. In these cases, "choosing" happiness involves modifying our external circumstances at least in terms of how we allow others to create negative situations for us. Marc Chernoff in the blog "Marc and Angel Hack Life" has this list of 20 things to stop letting people do to you.  

And even though it's not up to other people to "make" us happy, it is entirely possible that we are allowing others to make it impossible for us to choose happiness. Check Chernoff's list to see if you're permitting anyone to get in the way of that choice for yourself. No one can be a victim who refuses to be one and Marc's advice is to absolutely refuse to let anyone treat you as if you are one. I think you'll find it a worthwhile read - if not for yourself, then perhaps for someone you care about who doesn't seem to be able to choose happiness. 

What is happiness you ask me? 

It may seem odd to approach 

such a seemingly easy subject from the negative, 

but it is easier to begin with what it is not. 

It’s not love – though it can lead to it or come from it. 

It’s not joy – which is a breathtaking kind of elation 

born of full awareness, 

an enlightened sense of the rare 

and unique beauty of the present moment. 

Happiness is not found “out there,” 

in the grasping after or ownership of things or persons. 

It’s not something earned or won like fame or fortune. 

It’s not some romanticized quality of life 

represented by trilling bluebirds or colorful rainbows. 

It’s not something you get; 

it’s something you are 

and something you choose.

Happiness, like love and joy, 

is a state of being one chooses for oneself 

regardless of circumstance or luck. 

It’s a softening and an opening 

of one’s heart and soul 

that empties them of dissatisfaction, 

sadness and regrets and makes room 

for love and joy to fill them up. 

It’s a kind of calmness rather than giddiness, 

peace of mind and spirit rather than elation. 

It’s a contented sigh rather than bawdy laughter. 

Happiness is a general cheerfulness about life 

and a gentle sense of satisfaction with who you are. 

It’s a stance, a posture we assume 

in the face of difficulty or hardship, 

a view of life as more good than bad, 

more hopeful than despairing.

Choose happiness...and then 

allow it to just be.

Tough Love for Artists...an end to excuses

"Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what  you love and believe in, and it will come naturally."

David Frost

Braving the Storm

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/braving-the-storm-lianne-schneider.html

Art critic, writer, curator, psychologist Brian Sherwin goes head to head with the excuses many of us make about why we are less than successful in marketing our art - or our writing as the case may be. I admit to using every single one of these excuses at one time or another. How about you?

"Lack of action is often fueled by excuses. We can find examples of this within every angle of life. With that in mind, I want to discuss some of the common excuses artists use to justify their lack of action -- be it failure to develop OR market their art. The tough love starts now..."
Read the rest of this reblog at  Stop Making Excuses | The Art Edge

Mr. Sherwin covers the seven most prevalent excuses we generally offer for our lack of success and knocks those excuses on the head. I'd like to add at least one more...discouragement or feeling that what we're offering has been found wanting. I think it's possible to do everything right...at least in regard to Sherwin's excuse list...we can work at it daily, stop watching television, let the housework take second place, share care-giving responsibilities with other family and friends, go to gallery openings, stop worrying about whether or not we have an art degree, budget both our time and money so we have the resources we need to get it done and keep reaching out to contacts in the art or literary world both online and offline to widen our networks. 

We can go further...we can blog, create forums of mutual support for other artists, master social media marketing (there's a great big book out there called Social Media Marketing for Dummies that I happen to have bought in the face of what seems to be a time consuming need to have a presence on a half dozen social media sites!) We can do all of that - stress ourselves out with the need to respond and reciprocate for every positive comment or share we receive - and at the end of the day...or the month...or the year, be completely and utterly discouraged because we've not only sold or shown very little, if anything, but the response to our efforts is unenthusiastic at best or downright negative. Galleries and art magazines turn us down again and again and rejection seems to be the common theme day after day. I've been there...and I'll bet you have too. 

But like Sherwin's counterarguments to the excuses he discusses, I had to come up with a way to fight through that discouragement and the sense that my art or poetry had been found wanting and I do that by remembering that I don't just want a sale for the sake of a sale. I want my work to be bought and seen and read because someone out there recognized the passion behind the work, got what it was I was trying to say with it and one way or another shares those feelings. If that isn't happening, maybe I need to re-examine whether I've allowed my passion for the art to play second fiddle to the marketing of it. And then I need to honestly assess whether I've more to learn in terms of how I've expressed what I wanted to say - to get better at it every day.

Brian Sherwin concludes by saying, "In closing, as an artist you have two choices: You can continue to justify whatever it is that you feel is holding you back by spitting out excuse after excuse. OR you can learn from it -- get to the heart of the problem -- and change the way you approach art making / art marketing. You must make the choice." I say...choose passion. 

  From Dodinsky's "In the Garden of Thoughts"

Reflections on Happiness

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” 

Abraham Lincoln 

 Reflections on Happiness

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/reflections-on-happiness-lianne-schneider.html

Back in 1962, cartoonist Charles Schulz wrote a little cartoon book and coined a phrase – “Happiness is a Warm Puppy.” [And yes, I’m old enough to have read it “live,” so to speak].  Times have changed since then and today we see people not only demanding their “right to be happy,” but running frantically in every direction looking for something to make them truly happy. From a very young age, they chase from activity to activity, gadget to gadget, relationship to relationship certain that the next thing or person they happen upon is going to be exactly what it takes to make them happy. Friends, spouses, loved ones struggle with depression claiming that they don’t believe they’ve ever been happy or ever will be. Someone I love very much tearfully exclaimed one day, “What is happiness – I have no idea at all what it is or where to find it.” I don’t make light of such despair – it’s painful to watch someone you care about wrestle with the darkness and be unable to help. All I could offer was this poem in response:

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

What is happiness you ask me?

Far easier to say what it is not.

It’s not love –

though it can lead to it

or come from it.

It’s not joy –

which is a breathtaking kind of elation

born of full awareness,

an enlightened sense

of the rare and unique beauty

of the present moment.

Happiness is not found “out there,”

in the grasping after

or ownership of things or persons.

It’s not something earned or won

like fame or fortune.

It’s not some romanticized quality of life

represented by trilling bluebirds

or colorful rainbows.

It’s not something you get;

it’s something you are

and something you choose.

Happiness, like love and joy,

is a state of being

one chooses for oneself

regardless of circumstance or luck.

It’s a softening and

an opening of one’s heart and soul

that empties them of dissatisfaction,

sadness and regrets that

makes room for love and joy

to fill them up.

It’s a kind of calmness

rather than giddiness,

peace of mind and spirit

rather than elation.

It’s a contented sigh

rather than bawdy laughter.

Happiness is a general cheerfulness

about life and a gentle sense

of satisfaction with who you are.

It’s a stance, a posture we assume

in the face of difficulty or hardship,

a view of life as more good than bad,

more hopeful than despairing.

Happiness just is…

the space we contentedly

have the grace to call our own.

To someone struggling with the darkness of constant unhappiness, I can only offer what worked for me. I chose poetry and art to give my own sadness a voice and in doing so, discovered hope and light, joy and color in what had been a very monochromatic space. Try as I might, I could seldom let a poem end without a hopeful note, or allow an art work to remain too dark (I’m forever adjusting the brightness!). And now...I can say that I chose happiness when I chose art.

I don’t think I’m alone in finding light and color an element in what makes me happy. Take a peek at the incredible color and bold knife work of the unbelievably talented Mona Edulescu  as (EMONA Art) at Fine Art America. Her paintings absolutely delight my soul and make me feel totally alive – with happiness. I think Linus would very much agree. 

P. S. Speaking of happiness - I've just received my copy of Issue 1, Volume II of Woven Tale Press - featuring the best of the blogs and I'm delighted to say that I'm peripherally featured because one of my images appears in a blog by my beautiful writing friend, Lisa Jewell. You'll find her featured blog and my little sparrow image on page 37. The magazine also included an image of mine on the back inside cover from my art page at Trillium Gallery.