There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty to be happy.
By being happy we sow anonymous benefits on the world.
Robert Louis Stevenson
I don't usually do this - and to tell the truth - Blogger doesn't let you easily reblog someone else's post like WordPress does. But I thought this post was so important that I should pass it along with only a very little commentary (and not to bore you, but I do have another prose/poem to go with this topic!)
I've made the point before and will again in the poem below, that we choose who and how we'll "be" in the world. We can choose love or indifference, hope versus despair, optimism versus pessimism and happiness versus discontent or sadness. We can alter our stance toward life and others by our conscious desire and thoughts to do so. But...while I absolutely agree that we can change ourselves when we cannot necessarily change others or change the circumstances in which we find ourselves, there are, nonetheless, certain things we absolutely have to stop letting other people do to us if we are to even have a chance to choose happiness. In these cases, "choosing" happiness involves modifying our external circumstances at least in terms of how we allow others to create negative situations for us. Marc Chernoff in the blog "Marc and Angel Hack Life" has this list of 20 things to stop letting people do to you.
And even though it's not up to other people to "make" us happy, it is entirely possible that we are allowing others to make it impossible for us to choose happiness. Check Chernoff's list to see if you're permitting anyone to get in the way of that choice for yourself. No one can be a victim who refuses to be one and Marc's advice is to absolutely refuse to let anyone treat you as if you are one. I think you'll find it a worthwhile read - if not for yourself, then perhaps for someone you care about who doesn't seem to be able to choose happiness.
What is happiness you ask me?
It may seem odd to approach
such a seemingly easy subject from the negative,
but it is easier to begin with
what it is not.
It’s not love – though it can lead to it or come from it.
It’s
not joy – which is a breathtaking kind of elation
born of full awareness,
an
enlightened sense of the rare
and unique beauty of the present moment.
Happiness is not found “out there,”
in the grasping after or ownership of
things or persons.
It’s not something earned or won like fame or fortune.
It’s
not some romanticized quality of life
represented by trilling bluebirds or colorful
rainbows.
It’s not something you get;
it’s something you are
and something you
choose.
Happiness, like love and joy,
is a state of being one
chooses for oneself
regardless of circumstance or luck.
It’s a softening and an
opening
of one’s heart and soul
that empties them of dissatisfaction,
sadness and
regrets and makes room
for love and joy to fill them up.
It’s a kind of
calmness rather than giddiness,
peace of mind and spirit rather than elation.
It’s a contented sigh rather than bawdy laughter.
Happiness is a general
cheerfulness about life
and a gentle sense of satisfaction with who you are.
It’s
a stance, a posture we assume
in the face of difficulty or hardship,
a view of
life as more good than bad,
more hopeful than despairing.
Choose happiness...and then
allow it to just be.
